Post by Kiwi Frontline on Oct 6, 2021 10:31:41 GMT 12
MAOROPOLY.....THE NEW LIEBOUR BOARD GAME
R K writes > If you love what's happening to the country and adore the new wave of apartheid...don't read this.
Satire Tuesday
Maoropoly.....The new Liebour Board Game
A review.
This game sounded like fun, and one which you could lose everything or own everything, like Monopoly, or living in New Zealand, so we decided to hunt one down.
We bought it from the Govt bookshop, bedecked with greenery and amateur drawings of frogs and children under showers with sludge, lots of loudspeakers blaring native forest birdsong in sharp contrast to the incredibly loud shell horns and waiata that filled the galleries. One of the many hundreds of all-Maori staff, some snow white, all with moko, came over and explained it was ‘a roadmap with pivot points on all four corners expressing the life-force of whanau in a built environment, it is about whenua, it is about moana, kaitiakitanga, the mana of Atuatanga’. Looking at the illustrated box we could see it was also about Eketahuna, Horowhenua and Tokoroa.
There were four of us playing this new game and it came with a very colourful board, lots of little houses, boats and bachs, a few markers like a colonial shoe, sailing ship etc and two sets of specialty cards and of course two dice. The dice were the only thing that was black and white and in unity it was noted, mostly black with scared little white dots huddling in groups..
We unfolded the board to see something very akin to Monopoly, a roadmap if you like, or don’t, no money came with the set and you had to provide your own real money. On reading the rules the first thing we noted was that they were all in te reo, as was the board itself, but one of our members was tangata whenua and had a great great uncle that was part Maori so was able to translate.
To continue, any player with a tiny drop of tribal blood didn’t have to provide money, they could just help themselves to everyone else’s, or go to the treasury and demand as much as they liked. They didn’t have to set out the table or provide the after-game afghan biscuits either (not Anzac biscuits..we pulled out of that) and they had first throw of the dice...and the second and third until they got given something.
I wondered if we had played this game somewhere else before.
My partner threw first dice when her turn came and very quickly landed on income tax and lost $2000. This went straight to the treasury but again was passed to the only player with a drop of Maori blood after a tirade and a tantrum, and an apology from us all.
Then it was my turn and I landed on ‘take a Community Disease card’. It was a get out of jail card but only if you were Maori, predictably, and I had to take another card. This one said ‘you have been caught swimming in an Aotearoa lake and river, pay immediately to Iwi, $10,000 or pick a No Chance card. I opted for the latter and was ordered to make a full apology to any tangata whenua at the table, preferably under a mat, wearing a hijab with a compensatory payment of everything I owned.
This wasn’t a great start but we played on..
Disaster after disaster befell us as we landed on beaches, rivers, SNA areas, and the punishment from the No Chance and Community Disease cards had us all making apology after grovelling apology, while mortgaging everything we had and closing our businesses down.
After less than an hour of play our Maori player owned not only all four sides of the board, but also the four sides of the table leaving the rest of us to huddle in a corner. The houses and hotels went up everywhere in his portfolio as grants and conferments, settlements, non payback loans etc came in one on top of the other, each with a grovelling apology.
He was the only one with a ‘get out of jail’ card and an inexhaustible supply of race cards as it happened. He was able to set up legal roadblocks against us, his drug selling gangs were being given huge grants of our money, his Police and commissioner had been turned into community food distributors, he was able to buy all the newspapers and tv media, paying no rates or taxes while taking over ours in the treasury. He was also able to extend the term of play and bring in as many younger support players as he liked under the guise of new rules of play.
The water utilities were all his and we couldn’t even afford a drop of water for the coffees after the game, that’s if we could get water from the tap, but the new takeover/ownership didn’t extend to maintenance of the pipes. Soon the hotels and houses started to look shabby, gorse and rubbish everywhere, horrible inhabitants menaced the streets.
The infrastructure started to crumble and before long we were all sitting around the table wondering what the hell had happened and looking for a throat to throttle.
On top of that he had covid and blamed the rest of us for systemic, institutionalised racism which prevented him from getting treatment, in spite of him now owning the entire Health Authority.
We explained that it wasn’t a sailing ship 200 years ago which brought us covid, it was an incompetent racist and dangerous govt, but because we were all weak and meek we apologised anyway, took off our shirts and left the car keys on the table. There wasn’t fuel for them anymore anyway.
So we climbed onto our bicycles, and wobbled off down to the waterfront to wait for the bridge to be built to get back home.
Our reviewers advice is....DONT buy into this game.
R K writes > If you love what's happening to the country and adore the new wave of apartheid...don't read this.
Satire Tuesday
Maoropoly.....The new Liebour Board Game
A review.
This game sounded like fun, and one which you could lose everything or own everything, like Monopoly, or living in New Zealand, so we decided to hunt one down.
We bought it from the Govt bookshop, bedecked with greenery and amateur drawings of frogs and children under showers with sludge, lots of loudspeakers blaring native forest birdsong in sharp contrast to the incredibly loud shell horns and waiata that filled the galleries. One of the many hundreds of all-Maori staff, some snow white, all with moko, came over and explained it was ‘a roadmap with pivot points on all four corners expressing the life-force of whanau in a built environment, it is about whenua, it is about moana, kaitiakitanga, the mana of Atuatanga’. Looking at the illustrated box we could see it was also about Eketahuna, Horowhenua and Tokoroa.
There were four of us playing this new game and it came with a very colourful board, lots of little houses, boats and bachs, a few markers like a colonial shoe, sailing ship etc and two sets of specialty cards and of course two dice. The dice were the only thing that was black and white and in unity it was noted, mostly black with scared little white dots huddling in groups..
We unfolded the board to see something very akin to Monopoly, a roadmap if you like, or don’t, no money came with the set and you had to provide your own real money. On reading the rules the first thing we noted was that they were all in te reo, as was the board itself, but one of our members was tangata whenua and had a great great uncle that was part Maori so was able to translate.
To continue, any player with a tiny drop of tribal blood didn’t have to provide money, they could just help themselves to everyone else’s, or go to the treasury and demand as much as they liked. They didn’t have to set out the table or provide the after-game afghan biscuits either (not Anzac biscuits..we pulled out of that) and they had first throw of the dice...and the second and third until they got given something.
I wondered if we had played this game somewhere else before.
My partner threw first dice when her turn came and very quickly landed on income tax and lost $2000. This went straight to the treasury but again was passed to the only player with a drop of Maori blood after a tirade and a tantrum, and an apology from us all.
Then it was my turn and I landed on ‘take a Community Disease card’. It was a get out of jail card but only if you were Maori, predictably, and I had to take another card. This one said ‘you have been caught swimming in an Aotearoa lake and river, pay immediately to Iwi, $10,000 or pick a No Chance card. I opted for the latter and was ordered to make a full apology to any tangata whenua at the table, preferably under a mat, wearing a hijab with a compensatory payment of everything I owned.
This wasn’t a great start but we played on..
Disaster after disaster befell us as we landed on beaches, rivers, SNA areas, and the punishment from the No Chance and Community Disease cards had us all making apology after grovelling apology, while mortgaging everything we had and closing our businesses down.
After less than an hour of play our Maori player owned not only all four sides of the board, but also the four sides of the table leaving the rest of us to huddle in a corner. The houses and hotels went up everywhere in his portfolio as grants and conferments, settlements, non payback loans etc came in one on top of the other, each with a grovelling apology.
He was the only one with a ‘get out of jail’ card and an inexhaustible supply of race cards as it happened. He was able to set up legal roadblocks against us, his drug selling gangs were being given huge grants of our money, his Police and commissioner had been turned into community food distributors, he was able to buy all the newspapers and tv media, paying no rates or taxes while taking over ours in the treasury. He was also able to extend the term of play and bring in as many younger support players as he liked under the guise of new rules of play.
The water utilities were all his and we couldn’t even afford a drop of water for the coffees after the game, that’s if we could get water from the tap, but the new takeover/ownership didn’t extend to maintenance of the pipes. Soon the hotels and houses started to look shabby, gorse and rubbish everywhere, horrible inhabitants menaced the streets.
The infrastructure started to crumble and before long we were all sitting around the table wondering what the hell had happened and looking for a throat to throttle.
On top of that he had covid and blamed the rest of us for systemic, institutionalised racism which prevented him from getting treatment, in spite of him now owning the entire Health Authority.
We explained that it wasn’t a sailing ship 200 years ago which brought us covid, it was an incompetent racist and dangerous govt, but because we were all weak and meek we apologised anyway, took off our shirts and left the car keys on the table. There wasn’t fuel for them anymore anyway.
So we climbed onto our bicycles, and wobbled off down to the waterfront to wait for the bridge to be built to get back home.
Our reviewers advice is....DONT buy into this game.